Sunday Jokes — The Differences Between the FBI and the CIA?

“The competing messages, according to officials in attendance, also reflect cultural differences between the FBI and the CIA. The bureau, true to its law enforcement roots, wants facts and tangible evidence to prove something beyond all reasonable doubt. The CIA is more comfortable drawing inferences from behavior.”

The Washington Post — Russiagate (Dec. 10, 2016)

March 28 2021 — On February 4 2019, CIA Molly Hale went digital. A few days later, she answered a first question: What are the differences between the FBI and the CIA? Molly’s answer is fine but I thought a joke would explain a bit better the cultural differences between these two agencies!  Follow us on Twitter: @INTEL_TODAY

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On February 4 2019, CIA Molly Hale went digital. I could not resist firing the very first question on Twitter!

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I also noticed that someone had asked Molly an excellent question: What are the differences between the FBI and the CIA?

Molly replied on February 7 2019.

Great question. Lots of people get the CIA and FBI confused.

The CIA’s mission is to collect foreign intelligence overseas, where as the FBI addresses domestic issues.

The CIA does not have law enforcement authority and does not collect information concerning the domestic activities of American citizens.

(We do, however, have our own federal police force called the Special Protective Services who are responsible for protecting CIA employees and facilities).

The FBI, on the other hand, is the US government agency that investigates crimes on American soil and against American citizens abroad.

The FBI is a law enforcement agency and is responsible for intelligence matters in the United States, especially those directed against US citizens.

We do frequently work closely with the FBI, but our roles in keeping America safe are very different.

Hope that helps clarify things!

~ Molly

Good answer! But, truth being told, the agencies also differ by their methodology. The following joke will make this point very clear.

FBI James Comey and CIA John Brennan decide to spend a much-needed vacation in Italy.

Both men are amateur archaeologists and share a deep passion for the history of the Roman Empire.

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet in his garden, Comey found traces of a copper wire dating back 2000 years and came to the conclusion that the Roman Empire already had a telephone network.

He quickly passed the information to a few Congressmen.

A few days later, Fox News and the New York Times reported the extraordinary finding.

Not to be outdone by the FBI, John Brennan dug to a depth of 20 feet and found absolutely nothing.

Not the kind of man to be easily discouraged, John keeps on digging: 30 feet, 40 feet… And still, there is nothing.

Brennan leaks his finding to the Washington Post.

A few days later, the Post reported the following story: “The CIA has concluded that the Roman Empire had already gone wireless 2000 years ago.”

PS — The CIA and the FBI are committed to solving the “Havana Syndrome” mystery. Both US Secretary of State Antony Blinken and CIA Director William Burns have promised to get answers on who is responsible for these attacks on numerous U.S. spies and diplomats. Let us hope that the cultural differences between the FBI and the CIA do not interfere (too much) with the investigation. Time will tell…

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“I will make it an extraordinarily high priority to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the Havana attacks.”

CIA Director William Burns

CIA John “I don’t do evidence” Brennan


FBI and CIA give differing accounts to lawmakers on Russia’s motives in 2016 hacks — Washington Post

Fake News: FBI and DHS release ‘evidence’ of Russia Interference

Have a Question About the CIA? Ask Molly! — CIA Website


Just Ask Molly Hale — The Differences Between the FBI and the CIA? [Joke]

The Differences Between the FBI and the CIA? [Joke]

Sunday Jokes — The Differences Between the FBI and the CIA?

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