Two Years Ago — CIA Recruiting ‘AN US Russian Speaking  Citizen’ [UPDATE : On the art of avoiding assholes]

“Are you an US citizen with a college degree?
Seriously CIA?”

Sujai Shukla @sujaishukla

“Seriously?? I think your first order of business should be to hire a proofreader. You made yourselves look like fools. Are you still concerned with the Russians? You have bigger problems than Russians. I find you so amusing, I have for over 25 years.”

FUKTWYTTER @Yousucktwytter

“Can I work part-time ? I’m working for [Russia] FSB currently but have some free time for CIA too.”

Aлкаш Татарстана  @tat_alkash

“Not giving a shit takes the wind out of an asshole’s sails.”

Sean Illing — Vox (February 2020)

June 4 2018 — The CIA — also known as the CYA (Cover your Ass) — is recruiting AN US CITIZEN. Think twice before you take this job! Then again, it may be a Freudian slip? That kind of thing happens when the new boss has spent too much time force-feeding prisoners through the wrong end of their pipe.

On the other hand, if the Agency is really looking to hire a new bunch of ‘ASSHOLES’, feel free to send them — — your own recommendations. Follow us on twitter: @Intel_Today

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RELATED POST: Chief Judge Colleen McMahon: CIA Disclosures To One Are Disclosures To All [UPDATE II]

RELATED POST: CIA — The Language of Espionage : Lockerbie & The CIA Darkest Blunder [UPDATE]

UPDATE (June 4 2020) — The world is full of assholes. Wherever you live, whatever you do, odds are you’re surrounded by assholes. And, of course, if you work at the CIA, these assholes a very serious.

asshole
/ˈashəʊl/
noun: VULGAR SLANG — NORTH AMERICAN
plural noun: assholes
1. a person’s anus.
2. a stupid, irritating, or contemptible person.

The question is: What can you do about it?

Robert Sutton, a psychology professor at Stanford University, has authored an interesting book: ‘The Asshole Survival Guide’. [1]

“Asshole survival is a craft, not a science, meaning one can be good or bad at it. His book is about getting better at it,” Sutton argues. [A Stanford psychologist on the art of avoiding assholes]

This book teaches how to survive the assholes in your life. If you’ve got an asshole boss, an asshole friend, or an asshole colleague, this book might be for you.

Anyway, I have a special messages for the person who wrote that recruitment ad.

PS — No need to ask help from the NSA to decode this message. Just turn it upside-down!

END of UPDATE

I think that I finally understand why the CIA documents obtained under the FOIA are so heavily redacted. That is a pretty smart way to hide your spelling mistakes and typos!

Obviously, some people are born to work in the ‘Clandestine Services’. To the best of my knowledge, Gina Haspel — the new CIA Director — is the only journalism student who NEVER wrote a single piece for her school newspaper.

On a slightly more serious note, the use of the article in English is often a cause of difficulty for Russian speakers who tend to believe that it has no functionality. They are wrong.

Here is the perfect counter-argument for my Russian friends. Please, compare carefully the meaning of these two sentences.

A. “Few who knew him liked him.”

B. “The few who knew him liked him.”

Misspellings & Wrong Words: A Day In The Life Of President Trump’s Twitter | The 11th Hour |

 

UPDATE (June 4 2019) — The majority of the CIA officers appears to experience great difficulties in mastering foreign languages.

Last year, the CIA was looking for “AN US citizen”.  That is quite funny…

One would think that an agency such the CIA could be a bit more professional in wording its recruitment ads.

Of course, some will argue that it was not a mistake. Perhaps the CIA was actually looking for volunteers to test their new upgraded “rectal tool kit”?

RELATED POST: CIA — The “Secure the Package” Tool Kit

Never mind. The folks from Langley have managed to improve on their languages skills over the last 12 months.

Just take a good look at this CIA ad seeking Russian speakers.

The first part of the sentence, written in Russian, translates as:

“Your mastery [ваше владение (Noun singular)] of foreign languages [языками (Genitive plural)]”

This singular noun/subject should be followed by a singular verb according to the rules of both Russian and English grammar.

However, the second line goes: “are [instead of ‘is’] vitally important to our national security.”

Well, you made your point. The CIA badly needs Russian speakers!

PS: Actually, English speakers seem to allow a misalignment between the subject and the verb in a very special case. Whenever the subject is “majority”, there is a tendency to allow both a singular and plural verb.

But, great authors — writing in a language supervised by an academy — never allow themselves to commit such a horror, no matter the language…

Here is a sentence from Colombian Nobel Prize (1982) Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

“Pero la mayoria estaba de acuerdo en que era un tiempo funebre, con un cielo turbio y bajo y un denso olor de aguas dormidas …” [Cronica de una muerte anunciada]

But, do not worry. The CIA has the very best minds to analyse the most complex issues on the planet. Sure…

REFERENCES

CIA Twitter ad offers jobs to Russian-speakers, trolls arrive in droves — RT

1) In 2010, Sutton published “The No Asshole Rule”, which focused on dealing with assholes at an organizational level. In the new book, he offers a blueprint for managing assholes at the interpersonal level.

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CIA Recruiting AN US — Russian Speaking — Citizen

One Year Ago — CIA Recruiting ‘AN US’ — Russian Speaking — Citizen [UPDATE : Agency Officers Lost in Translation?]

Two Years Ago — CIA Recruiting ‘AN US Russian Speaking  Citizen’ [UPDATE : On the art of avoiding assholes]

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